Relationships 101: The Bully

Hi y'all,

Today's post is one that is very close to my heart... the relationship with "the bully". At some point in everyone's life, you will probably have someone pick on you or be downright hateful to you, for no reason.

Now, I will be the first to say that there is no "single" answer as to how to handle a bully situation correctly. Every person is different. Some will stop if you just ignore them, others take serious consequences before their behavior changes.

1. Analyze the threat. How big of a threat is this person? Are they just picking on you? Are they threatening to hurt you? If it's the latter, find help/safe space immediately. If they're just picking on you, ask them, politely, to stop. Another option is to just ignore them.

2. Realize who you can rely on. When someone is being mean/bullying you, it is very easy to think you're alone. In fact, a lot of bullies thrive off of making their victim feel alone. It's very important that you have at least one person that you can talk to about the situation.

3. Concentrate on the good. At the end of the day, you've probably spent the majority of the day being miserable. I think it's very important that you take some time at the end of the day and think of at least one good thing that happened. It can be anything from getting a good grade on a difficult test or saying "hi" to someone new.

4. Don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. I think it's extremely important to step out of your comfort zone, but this shows the bully that they don't hold any power over you.

5. Have fun/ Be Happy. Literally the worse thing to a bully is you having fun/being happy. They want to suck all the happiness and fun out of your world. By even giving the appearance that you're happy, they'll lose interest.

with southern grace,

Lindsey

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Relationships 101: Siblings

Hi Y'all,

Today's post is all about sibling relationships!

I've always been super lucky and my brother and I have always had a good relationship. When I joined a sorority, I instantly gained 140+ new sisters, overnight.     

                           

I like to classify sibling relationships in three different groups:

1. Peaceful. The peaceful sibling relationship is where the siblings don't really fight (the occasional argument is normal). Will willingly talk to each other openly. Value the other siblings.

2. Separate. This relationship is where one sibling pretends the other siblings don't exist.

3. Fighting. These are the siblings that are constantly picking, bickering, etc. at each other.

I'm lucky enough to have a peaceful relationship with my brother. However, many of my friends growing up had the "separate" and "fighting" relationships with their siblings. 

I personally believe there are benefits to having a sibling:

1. You automatically learn how to share. Not only do you share your parents, but you also will often share toys, friends, family members' attention. 

2. You learn to compete. Often times, many kids feel their parents are always forcing their kids to compete. Lines like "your sister did better" or "your brother got an A on his test, why didn't you?" might get used frequently. It's fine that you learn to compete in a healthy environment and in a healthy manner. I was always the "better behaved child" but my brother had far more energy than I ever did (or could ever hope to have). Don't worry, he's calmed down in his old age (of 24).

3. You get money and time saving hand-me-downs. For instance, I didn't have to buy new textbooks for the college classes I took in high school because my brother already had them. I also saved a ton of time with teachers because they often met me before having me in their classes because my brother was older.

Not every sibling relationship is peaceful, and it won't be all of the time, and that's ok! 

with southern grace,

Lindsey

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Relationships 101: The (permanently) Friendzoned Friend

Hi y'all,

Today's post is about that relationship everyone has in their life, but struggles to talk about: the permanently friendzoned friend.

First things first, how do you know you have that permanently friendzoned friend?

Easy, it's the person you look at like a brother or sister.

How do you explain your relationship to others?

This is the tough one because it seems like no one understands why you won't date the person! I always go with the answer "we're better off as friends"... which I often truly believe!

How do you know it's the right move to friendzone or be in a relationship?

Well, let me put it to you like this, if you always want the person around friendzone them. If the possibility of losing them as a friend terrifies you, then it's probably best to friendzone. Should your relationship not work out, it could be very hard to go back to "just friends".

Is it ok to friendzone someone?

Absolutely! Even though this is coming from the person who basically friendzones everyone, it's totally ok! 

Is the friendzone a bad place to be?

No! Here's the thing, you really have two options once you've been friendzoned. Option A, being friends or Option B, not being friends. You can easily take yourself out of the friendzone by not talking to the person anymore.

Moral of this story: it's okay to be the permanently friendzoned friend!

with southern grace,

Lindsey

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